Childhood Event

As I think back into my childhood, I think of the day I knew I could not use the bathroom standing up.  I was pretty young and knew right away that I hated the diaper.  I have seen my older brother running to the bathroom multiple times to beat the bladder that seemed uncontrollable, and to my dismay, he stood.  I wondered how he did this and I tried to mimic.  Now, this tasked to me was a little more difficult because one, I could not reach the toilet, and two, I was afraid of the hole in the bottom of the toilet.  Did I also mention I am a girl?  Well, try explaining this to a two and a half year old determined girl that insisted she void standing up.  As my mother explained multiple times, that girls void sitting down, I wanted no part in this because to me, I saw no difference.  I had two legs like my brother, two eyes, two ears and so forth.  I did not want to hear that I was different until I saw it for myself.  I did not have to wait long.  As my older brother who was three years older than me, had an accident in his pants, I watched in horror as my mother changed him.  I was grossed out because of his weird body part below. I did not understand why it was different than mine, but all I knew was that I was a girl. After that horrific display, I was happy to be a girl.

I have learned to love my body for all its flaws and beauty.  I may not have learned to void standing up, but I grew to love why I did not want to.  As innocent children grow, one must let them be curious and explore why things are the way they are.   My mother let me be an explorer. She let me explore and figure things out until I needed her.  To this day, I still do.